It’s Okay To Feel

So like, I know it’s been a minute. Don’t be mad at ya girl! There has been a lot going on emotionally and just with life in general. But one thing I’ve been really trying to focus in on lately is being a healthy human being all across the board, mind body and soul. The body part has actually been the easiest one for me. Despite my constant complaining about going to orange theory fitness, (the place leaves me feeling on the brink of death every time) I truly enjoy working out and eating healthy. I love the way it makes me feel. The soul part isn’t too bad. I’d say I am pretty good at keeping a clean and pure heart, no matter the situation. But the mind part ya’ll, that is what’s been the biggest struggle for me.
I know a lot of times when I’m going through something, the time when I really should be writing the most, I stray away from writing. I think it’s kind of a fear of processing how I feel. It’s uncomfortable. I’d much rather (and it’s much easier to) go about business as usual, stay occupied, try to keep my mind off of it, keep convincing myself everything is fine. There’s this “I don’t have time to be sad” mentality. While this can seem like a reasonable thing to do, by not processing the way I feel I am unknowingly holding myself hostage to that very thing I am trying to avoid.
It’s like I think I’m helping myself & call it ”staying positive”, in hopes that it’ll just at some point go away because there’s so much other stuff going on. But it always catches up to me and the side effects from not processing it show up in different areas of my life. Then, what happens when I’m not occupied by anything and I have all this free time?
Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to go through the pain of feeling my feelings. No one enjoys being sad or upset or stressed or angry. It’s not a good feeling at all. Then I have to remember, pain is a part of life that can’t be avoided or ignored. There is not a single person on this planet that doesn’t feel pain. But, it is my decision how I will handle the pain I’m feeling. If I will allow it to take over me and keep me down, or if I will take the pain, see it as a temporary and necessary period that is going to grow me in some way, and let it go.
Although I hate it in the moment, I usually end up appreciating not necessarily the pain, but the situation that caused it. I always know there is a greater purpose for it then it happening just to happen. What can it teach me? How can I allow it to grow me into a better me? Is there anything I could have done to make the situation better so I know better for next time? How can I help someone else who may be going through the same thing? Those are some of the healthy thoughts that I’ve been practicing, but after I first allow myself to feel. If I just jump straight into those thoughts, I’m not really allowing myself to feel what I need to feel in order to truly heal. Any anger, regret, or sadness I have, has to be released first. At the end of the day, I want to work towards being my healthiest self so I can function at my absolute best. And IT IS work, but it’s worth it for the sake of my sanity and freedom.
Now I know I can’t be the only one trying to live a healthy lifestyle in 2018. Which one is hardest for you? Let me know in the comments or on my social media!